gotta give credit where credit is due

I really, really hate to give my parents too much credit for parenting me. Because, honestly, look at me...they didn't do that great of a job, really. But, I must give at least my mother credit for one thing (and in all honestly, besides making me a weird paranoid freak, my dad has taught me some pretty great things, too). The other night, Keith and I were taking a rare moment to talk about our kids (is there anything else talk about? beside the Gamecocks, no!), and Keith was just talking about some of Tiernan's, well, stranger tendencies. I said, "You know what, I gotta say, my mom may have made a TON of mistakes in raising me, but, I gotta give her credit for always, ALWAYS taking my most negative tendencies and turning them around to tell me that one day, if I could use them for something good, I could do great things with them. It usually went something like, "Sarah, one day, God will use that stubbornness to do something great"

And I remember those times she said that. The few times she wasn't beating me with a Bible ;-)

But in all seriousness, I was reminded of that when Keith was talking about how annoying it was when Tiernan just REFUSED to take no for an answer. Or when he kept asking the same question over and over and over and over and just can not wait for the answer. I told him how my mom used to say that, and how it actually meant something to me. It made me, even if just for a moment, think that maybe I did have some potential. Maybe there was something I could do.

I told him, ya know, maybe the same will be for Tiernan. Maybe one day he'll be just as stubborn when fighting for something he knows will help change the world. Or change one person's life. Maybe he'll stand there and not take no for an answer, or not just wait in line while people suffer. Maybe he'll bug the hell out of people till they give him what it takes to make a difference! I believe it. I believe any of my kids can take their annoying little habits and use them for good. Not to sound cheesy, but I'm serious. I want my kids to fight to help people. I want them to make a different, or at least to want to make one. I want them to get in people's faces if that's what it takes. I just want them to use what they have and make it a positive thing.

It won't always be. They will still get on people's nerves. Ours, their future spouses, children, ect. I mean, it gets on Keith's nerves when I'm out there saving the world, but I do it anyway!

But really, I do want my kids to stop whining. Oh how I want them to stop whining. And complaining. And fighting. And stomping their feet. They have some work to do to turn their annoying habits around, but I do believe they can use it to do something good one day.

Tiernan has a lot of passion. I tell him all the time it's the Latin in him! He gets angry, he gets emotional, he gets upset, happy, sad, you name it, he gets it. Very passionate. But he also has a huge hart. He can see when someone is hurting. He wants to help people. Very much. He befriends the underdog, ever single time. He has no desire to be the cool kid's friend, he wants to be friends with the kid who's getting picked on. Is it because he's a saint? No, it's because he's so passionate, and he hates seeing his best friend who doesn't speak English very well getting picked on. So, he becomes his best buddy! I love that about him. I don't care if he is never in the cool crowd, even though before kids, I would have said differently. No parents wants a dork for a kid, but if it takes my son being slightly dorky, like his mother, to help make a difference to another kid, then go for it, my love!

I tell Tiernan all the time how proud of him I am. Not for any in particular, just for being him. I tell all my kids that. I tell them they dont' have to change and be like anyone else. They can make a difference just like they are. Just learn when to fight, and when to step back. When to keep bugging people for what you want to hear, and when it's time to try something different.

My kids will leave home one day, and hopefully go far, far away. And that's another thing my parents prepared us, and themselves, for when we were growing up. And I appreciate that so much. They taught us about other places, all around the world. We had missionaries from just about everywhere in our homes, and that became our lesson for the day (because, yes, we were, ugh home schooled). I learned more from them than from any math book. Do you think I can do a lick of algebra now? No, not a bit. But, I can tell you where countries are that Keith didn't even know existed! And I am rather proud of that!
I want my kids to use their strengths, and strengthen their weaknesses to make a difference. To think about what's outside of themselves and Rock Hill, and South Carolina, and this country. I will finance trips abroad! I will cry at the airport, but push them down the terminal into the plane!

I have a lot of great plans for my kids, and I tell them about them every day! Just the other day, I asked Tiernan if he wanted to learn about Nepal! Now, really, how many parents are as cool as me?!

http://freejasonp.com/

late, late, late

I couldn't be on time to anything if you paid me! And that is exactly what my job does. They pay me to be at work...on time, would be nice. However, I just can't seem to do it. Part of the problem is...no, it's just me. Being me. I'd like to blame my parents. It seems the cool thing to do, be my age and blame your parents for everything. So, mom, dad, I blame you for my chronic lateness. There. I do feel somewhat better!

almost a year

It's coming up on a year since we lost a dear, dear friend/uncle. Corey left us what seems like forever ago, yet just yesterday. Even though it's been almost a year, I still feel like he's gonna show up at our house and scoop the kids up and give them great big hugs. I still feel like he's gonna call and it will all have just been a terrible nightmare, or misunderstanding. Something. But, I doubt that will happen. It looks like we're just going to have to keep going on missing him. Thinking about him past tense. We'll be talking about him, and it's weird, it will just hit me all over again, that wow, he's not here. Really, seriously, not here. And not coming back. And it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I loved him dearly. It breaks my heart even more, because I see how much it pains Keith to have lost his best friend. That isn't a pain that will leave him anytime soon, or probably ever. It hurts me because Tiernan absolutely adored Corey. He looked up to him. He was his best buddy. And Tiernan is heartbroken over having lost him. It hurts knowing Belle and Jack will only have very faded memories of him. As they get older, they will most likely remember him less and less. Jack was not even 2 year when we lost Corey. We talk about him, and I show him pictures, and he points him out, and that makes me feel better. But oh how I wish Isabelle and Jack could know Corey the way Tiernan knew him. Or maybe I'm thankful that they weren't old enough to understand how much it hurts to lose someone we love. I saw Tiernan struggle for the longest time. He, unfortunately, was not too young to experience the pain of losing Corey.

One day I hope he will be able to show the Loflins the book that he wrote in memory of Corey shortly after his passing. He wrote it to show Corey's mom, to show her how much he loved Corey. We haven't yet, because I just cannot even begin to imagine her life without Corey. Being a mother myself, I don't even want to try to imagine how difficult this year has been for her.

But I am thankful that we did have Corey in our lives while we did.

This year has felt like an eternity, yet it feels like just yesterday. It's still a little numb.

not so much a baby anymore

Isabelle woke up yesterday morning and literally stopped me in my tracks (odd phrase). I just stared at her and said, "Isabelle, you're so tall!" "I know, mom." "and...and so so beautiful. you're so old now!" "yeah, I know I am. I'm 4" I was just amazed at how overnight my baby girl has become a little girl. Not even a toddler, an actual girl. I tried explaining this to Keith. I said, "she looks like a little girl now!" he said, "well, she is, I mean..." I said, "no, no, I mean, like, she looks older. Not like a baby or a toddler, she's growing and becoming a little girl." he still didn't get it. But I just couldn't stop watching her as she sat on the couch, then ate her breakfast.

My babies are slowly (or quickly) becoming not babies anymore. I don't know that I like that. Now anytime Keith says he can't wait till they're all in school or grown up, he will get slapped!

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

finished this book. wonderful book and I'd recommend everyone read it.

hmmm....

we're kid free. completely, 100% kid free for the entire night. This happens so rarely that I forget what it feels like. And to be honest, it isn't like, WOOHOO!! NO KIDS ALL NIGHT! it's more like, let's go, let's leave the house and get busy right now before I miss the kids to the point that I have to go get them, and then ruin THEIR night out!! They probably wouldn't like it too much if I showed up at the door and said, "come on, time to go home, let's go..mama can't sleep without having y'all piled on top of me! come on!" they'd be pretty upset, I imagine. But boy do I miss my babies when they're gone!