Who's your daddy?

Last weekend, Isabelle was with Emma at a birthday party, so the rest of us decided to go out for dinner. We figured we'd go eat at Charanda's and that way Tiernan could see Jairo, too.
We actually had a great dinner. The boys were great, Tiernan got to talk to Jairo, Jairo hung out with us, when he wasn't busy, and talked to us. Then as we were leaving, Tiernan went up front with Jairo.
As I walked up, I hear the 14 year old hooker, I mean, hostess, saying, "no way, that is not your kid!" and Jairo laughing saying, "yeah, he is." Manuel, an old friend who also works there, was trying to convince the girl, who just, omg, couldn't believe Jairo was old enough to have a 9 year old kid. She still wasn't convinced, so with all of us standing up there, she looks at Tiernan and says, "ok, who's your dad?"
Poor Tiernan. He looked back at Keith, looked at Jairo, kept going back and forth between them. You could feel the tension. It was so uncomfortable for everyone there. Jairo laughed and said, "seriously, he is my son." I finally chimed in and said, "yes, that is his son. For real."
And as if she hasn't already proven to us how brilliant she was, she turns to me and asks, "so, who's the baby mama?"
Yeah, those words very seriously left her mouth. I just smiled, said I was, and we left her to think about that for awhile. I'm not sure she's figured it out yet, to be honest.
I asked Keith later if that maybe made him feel a little better, to know that at the very least, Tiernan looked to him first. He told Tiernan it was ok, there really was no right answer in that situation. That was such a tough spot to put him in. Poor girl just had no brains, so couldn't possibly have realized how difficult of a question that is to ask a kid in Tiernan's situation.
Honestly, if you ask Tiernan, he'll tell you he doesn't have a "dad." He has two dad's, Keith and Jairo, but neither are "dad" to him, which has always been such a sad thing, I think. He loves them both, and when not put in the middle of them and asked, he will tell you that Keith is his dad. Usually, he'll throw in that Jairo is, too, it just depends on the situation.

I just hate that, still, Tiernan doesn't feel he really belongs to anyone. I wish I could change that for him, but I can't. I just want him to understand that he belongs to all of us and we all love him and want the best for him and would do anything for him. He will never have to pick, he can have us all!

it's been a decade, but I still remember

Ten years ago today is a day I can't forget. It's strange, because I don't remember every detail of 10 days ago, yet 10 years ago, I remember almost everything.

I was living with Jairo, Tiernan's dad, in Brittany Gregory's condo. I woke up to the sound of the radio, which was strange, because I hadn't set the alarm, and it was a very random time to have an alarm set for, anyway. I just remember hearing something about the tower evacuating or something. I just hopped up and turned it off, no idea what it was about, still confused as to why uit was going off.

Later we all got up, and I remember somehow hearing that something was happening in New York, but not exactly sure what. Brittany was in her room, door locked, as usual, and she had the only tv. We went to borrow Rosie's car who was at work. It had been my car, and she was always so nice about letting me use it if I needed to. We drove to the mall in Pineville for some reason, don't know why, exactly. Rosie had mentioned something about the attacks, and how it had to do with 911, our emergency number.

We got to the mall, and everything was closed. All the employees in Dillards were gathered in a group, and I just remember wondering what was going on. Something had happened up in New York, but I remember thinking, why are we shutting everything down here?! I had no idea the magnitude of it at the time.

So, we went to eat lunch at Ruby Tuesdays and that's when I realized what was going on. The tvs were all blaring the news reports and it was insane. I just remember being in such a shock. I could probably show you the exact booth we were sitting in, too.

So, we went back Brittany's and turned on the radio in the living room to the news reports. We were trying to listen to what was going on, and Brittany woke up and kept turning the station to music and dancing around the living room. I just remember being so angry with her ignorance. I said, "Brittany, something huge has happened, can we please just listen?" She kept wanting to dance, bored by the news. But I kept turning it back. We finally turned her tv on and that's when we saw everything. Over and over they kept replaying the plane flying into the building. She kept wanting to turn the channel to MTV, and I kept getting so pissed off at her for being so stupid (which, honestly, wasn't anything new. Anyone who knows her can tell you that). I just kept saying over and over, "this is like a movie, this is insane."
I started calling people to find out what was going on, but no one would answer the phone. I called my parents, I called other people int he church, no one would answer. I started to think, wow, maybe the rapture is real and they've been taken and this is it! The end! haha! I know, it was pretty crazy, but I mean, it was a crazy time. I finally did get some neighbors of my parents on the phone (which only made me think of the rapture even more! lol!), and they explained what was going on. I told them to tell my parents to call me if they saw them. I just remember being in such shock all day.

I think it was a long time before the true magnitude of it hit, really. Maybe not even till the 1st anniversary, when I was back home, with Tiernan, and able to really grasp what had happened.

It's still unbelievable, really. I can't imagine if I had actually been there, to see it happen, in real time. In real life.

Did it change my whole world? Personally, no, it really didn't. I just cannot imagine having been in the towers, having escaped. Having been on the street, watching it all go down. Having been one of the first responders.

Yes, this was a huge event in all of our lives, but those are the people who truly live with what happened every single day. The widows, orphans, parents who lost children.

It's still unreal it all happened. But thankfully, America, who usually loves to turn a blind eye to any and everything that is hard to watch/think about, will never, ever even attempt to forget what happened on that day 10 years ago.

2 year old Isabelle

I was reading Peach Heaven to Isabelle and Jack the other night, and remembered the email to and from the author, Yangsook Choi. Isabelle used to know every single word to her favorite book, so I let the author know. She was then kind enough to not just reply, but send Isabelle a picture of herself all grown up!
my email to her:

Hello! I just wanted to write you to tell you how much my two year old daughter, Isabelle, LOVES your book, Peach Heaven! We get it from the library every single time we go and renew it as many times as we can, and when we can't renew it again, we return it, then immedietly get it again! She knows every single word, literally every word! When I picked up another one of your books, she looked at the cover and said, "Yangsook, Yangsook!" :-)

We love your books and your art! Thank you so much for making her a very happy little girl!

Her reply:

Hello Sarah,

Thank you for such encouraging words and being a great facilitator for reading.

I really love writing for little people, I don't know if I ever want to write for 'old people'. :)

I'm attaching a photo of very grown-up Yangsook here. I don't know if Isabelle could understand now that a person grows old. But I want her to know that her love for Peach Heaven would never grow old in my heart.

Yangsook